We bought a car three years ago; after our Murano delivered almost 180,000 miles with few mechanical issues, we were a bit spoiled. This new one has been… not great, Bob. (I don’t want to cast aspersions on a brand or model, but it rhymes with Beep Bumpus and I won’t buy another.) Our various electrical issues include randomly activating the emergency brake occasionally. Yeah, not great, Bob. The truly frustrating part is the inability to get the service people to do anything about it, or honestly just to not look at me like I’m a delusional idiot. (Ed. note: I’m pretty sure I’m not.)

With several more free/included oil changes and a warranty, I have been going to the dealer but I don’t know how much more I can take of that particular agony, since I don’t trust them one bit. I changed the dead main battery in August – 30 months and 40,000 miles and a bad battery already? OK, it happens, but… Took it in for an oil change the next week and I explained everything; they swore they checked it all out and nothing was draining the battery.

Monday morning I was driving to the gym and it stalled out on me – just died as I turned the corner to leave the neighborhood. Service engine light came on, as well as the electronic throttle control light. I got it restarted, and drove to the gym since nothing was open at 5:45 and the gym was closer than the house if I had to get it towed.

I showed service the video I shot; hours later I get a call – the auxiliary battery and main battery are both bad, they want to replace both. Now the only thing the aux does is keep the electrical on when the auto start/stop is active. Since that feature failed some time ago, I’m guessing the aux was bad well before service gave it the all clear in August. The main battery is four months old, and I sure as hell wasn’t paying them $300 to replace it.

So I swung by the auto parts store and they threw a tester on the main – checked out perfectly. Huh. What do you know… the new battery is fine, but the car continued to stall out all week. Guess I get to have a chat with the service manager – lucky me!

This Sounds Frustrating, But… Why Do I Care?

Alright, I know, you’re wondering what the point is. Hang with me here…

The world is chock full of “experts.” That’s really always been the case, but the internet opens up more information to more people, and gives them a bigger platform to spout it from. The good news is, as we all know, if it’s on the internet, it must be true!

With a wealth of “knowledge” available, and internet courage to back them up, there are plenty of folks who are willing to look at you like a delusional idiot and pass swift judgment on who you are, what you are doing wrong, and what you should do to fix it. Super helpful, no??

Here’s the thing, though: in the end, you need to be the person who sifts through “advice” and finds your own solutions. No one knows how your car, your soul, your body respond to circumstances better than you. The mechanic may blame the battery, but batteries don’t cause this sort of issue. Bob’s cousin’s housekeeper’s uncle may say that you just need this one weird trick to lose the weight – but that dude gets off the couch and he’s out of breath.

Don’t let all the noise get into your head space. I’m not saying don’t seek help – I’m saying accept that help with your eyes open. Commit yourself, but don’t blindly accept someone else’s word. If your coach won’t explain reasoning or just flat doesn’t make sense, you need to find a new expert.

A real coach will find out what works for you and tailor a solution to you, not force you into a prebuilt program. Square peg, round hole and all that. The time will come when you find that perfect coach, and the light will come on (NOT the check engine light). You will realize what you’ve been missing and wonder why you wasted so much time on people who were there for themselves, not for your best outcome.

The drive to be the best you can’t come from anyone else. Recognizing who you are and who you want to become has to flow from inside. You can (and should!) get help along that path – but don’t let what anyone else tells you put out the fire in your heart.

Photo by marcos mayer on Unsplash