You can hear all the words people say to you, but the proof is in their actions. That is the simple truth. Hey, that was easy. The blog is done!

Wait, what? There’s more?

Yes, there’s more.

When a friend posted that statement earlier this week, I nodded sagely (as we do at memes) and thought, yes, so true (as we do at memes). Then I thought about it some more instead of just scrolling on to the next meme (NOT what we usually do). Yes, it’s true that people tell you one thing, but treat you differently – and it has happened to me. Yes, I have done the same to other people. The main victim I have targeted, though, is myself.

The Dentist

I don’t like going to the dentist. Who does, right? Well, to be honest, I can’t say that I don’t like it – because I don’t do it. In 1988, I was a senior in high school and they x-rayed my wisdom teeth. All good, coming in straight, plenty of room. And that, my friends, is the last time I went to the dentist. Seriously.

I have been blessed with good teeth. I had one cavity as a kid; it was on my last baby tooth which was loose. I brush every day, but only once a day and I don’t floss, mouthwash, etc. Fifteen years or more ago, I was having trouble with one of my wisdoms – it did NOT come in straight – and I had it pulled. Insurance let me go straight to the oral surgeon, so nope – no dentist visit.

Every once in a while I would have some trouble with my other lower wisdom, but it never lasted – until this year. Yes, it’s impacted also and pressing hard against my other teeth. I put it off, and it got worse (wait, what??? Ignoring it didn’t make it better???). Then, of course, COVID happened. I made an appointment and they told me they could move it up if it were emergent. Well, no, I mean, it’s not that bad…

Only now it is kinda bad. So I’m going tomorrow morning to get it pulled. Yes, again, straight to the surgeon, no dentist. I don’t know what my deal is here. I go to the doctor for my annual, and a skin check as well. I eat right, exercise daily, do all these things to get and keep myself healthy – but I ignore my teeth unless they are actively giving me trouble.

So the dentist is a last vestige of what I used to think about that Karl guy. What I would say about myself and how I would treat myself were not the same. I would tell you I was happy, make jokes to deflect, use all the defense mechanisms. In truth, I was pretty unhappy with where I was, who I was, and looking back now I see it even more.

What did I do about it? Well for years and years, I did nothing. Oh, I had big ideas and plans and was going to change this or do that… but nothing ever happened. (Psst – that’s because I never followed through…) Finally, I had enough. Instead of just talking about it or thinking about it, I did make a change. I can tell you this – I have not regretted it one bit. Every day I believe in myself a little more. That’s something I have to watch, and I keep a reminder.

When you are being mistreated, by yourself or someone else, you are being told how that person feels about you. Believe them. Then decide for yourself if you can live with it or need to make a change. That may mean confronting them to try and change how they feel, removing them from your inner circle, or maybe removing them from your life entirely. Whatever it is, when you are ready, make the change.

They have already told you what they think about you. Now you get to change the answer you give yourself!

Photo by u j e s h on Unsplash